So there I was again, screaming at the television in what would usually be considered an inappropriate volume. Room-temperature, half-eaten appetizers strewn about the living room coffee table doomed to never be consumed. My roommate occasionally emerging from his room with slightly sardonic comments like, “this is why I don’t follow football,” and “you’re going to have a stroke.” Me, a mere two hours ago filled with the hope and foolish dreams of my boys in purple trotting out onto the Miami sod, now fraught with that familiar feeling of disappointment, anger and futility. I pressed the power button on the cable box only seconds before that damning, game-ending field goal soared through the yellow uprights. I already knew what was going to happen.
For the next hour or so, I did what most Minnesota sports fans do after a big loss: I looked for someone to blame. In my head, it sounded like a middle-aged woman from Brooklyn. Stupid refs, buncha Saints-lovin’ cheaters. Stupid offense, couldn’t stop turnin’ over the ball to save their life. Stupid Childress, what a gutless schlamiel! But this never lasts long, and soon I was back to the self-loathing that comes from questioning my own loyalty and whether or not it’s time to jump off the bandwagon, followed by rampant, philosophical self-analyzation (which sounded like Will Ferrell’s James Lipton). Do I really hate losing, or do I just hate the uncertainty of it all? Am I a strong enough person to accept rooting for mediocre sports franchises, or do I need success to justify it? Does it hurt because I love the team or because it’s a perverse version of how I see myself and my own seemingly-hopeless endeavors? Yikes.
In the end, out of the whole psychological mess, I draw these conclusions:
- Sports mean absolutely nothing in real life. Nothing. Hey, you hear about that record Peyton Manning broke? Who cares. How about that great play on Sports Center? Pssch. The Steelers won the Super Bowl! Yawn. Really, think about it. We make such a big deal about who did this and what team won that, when really, why do we care? Sports are, ultimately, entertainment. They’re something to talk about, something to occupy our time. In the long run, the number of touchdowns Chris Johnson ran for doesn’t mean a thing to Haiti earthquake survivors or to starving kids in Africa. Not to get all bleeding heart-y all of a sudden, but a lot of the things we hold to be so important will mean nothing in the light of eternity. Sports can teach valuable lessons to us, but they’re just another job to the athletes who play them, and the stats compiled mean nothing in real world measurements. Speaking of valuable lessons…
- If sports in general teach us anything, it’s that losing is a part of life. Get used to it. Yeah, I know, a million minivan-driving soccer moms might think it’s best to let everyone win and not hurt anyone’s feelings, but that’s a horribly-unrealistic message. Get out there, put yourself on the line, work hard and give it your best shot, and guess what? You could be a miserable failure your whole life. It’s cruel and heartbreaking and even a little unfair, but fairness is for cowards. Put that crap on a t-shirt.
- Living vicariously through anything, especially sports teams, is unhealthy. Like the guy with the season tickets, jerseys, memorabilia and satellite TV package with all the special sports channels who trolls message boards waiting to rip on anyone who thinks his team sucks. That guy probably lives and dies with his team. He probably talks trash at his job and carries on heated debates with rival fans. He also probably doesn’t like himself very much. It’s a little cliched, and a bit of a stereotype, but all stereotypes carry some kernel of truth to them, otherwise where would they have come from? Total misconceptions? Doubtful.
Yeah. So with that, the loss doesn’t seem so bad anymore. The Saints won, good for them. I’ll wake up Monday morning, just like every other day. Go to work, just like every other day. Hate my unfulfilling job, just like every other day. A Vikings win wouldn’t have changed any of that. Their success doesn’t equate my success. Life goes on. And now I have time to focus on more important things. Like hockey season! *canned laughter*
29 responses so far ↓
Aaron // January 25, 2010 at 8:28 AM
It’s tough being a fan of an NFC North team. As a long suffering Bears fan I feel your pain, but love it that Brett is going home again.
Dave // January 25, 2010 at 8:38 AM
You’ve gotten past the easy part. Now for the real challenge: Can you become a Redskins fan? Next year is going to be another “rebuilding” year. Just like the last 9.
Aaron // January 25, 2010 at 8:53 AM
Its tough being a fan of an NFC North team. As a long suffering Bears fan I feel your pain, but love it that Brett is going home again.
Jen // January 25, 2010 at 9:19 AM
Thanks for today’s blog. Well said. It was wonderful to laugh at myself. I too scared my son half to death with shrieks and muffled, fist-pumping profanity. But my heart aches and probably for all the wrong reasons you mentioned. Our own lives are unfair, but, our heroes’ too? Okay, I know it’s a lesson in effort, failure, and just being damned glad we have one imperfect life to live.
24karats // January 25, 2010 at 9:29 AM
This is awesome. As a Chicago native, I have been reliving this vicious cycle since 1986. Basically, since before I learned how to write in cursive. You’d think I’d get used to it.
Thank you for some perspective, and for some much needed company. My misery was lonely.
Zoey // January 25, 2010 at 10:16 AM
My residual headache is slightly subsiding after reading this funny profound treatise. You clearly hit the nail on the head. But for those of us unable to shake the pain, the need to mope darkly for the unbelievable number of lost Viking opportunities feels like a deep dark cavern in the hollow depths of our shallow souls…
The part about living vicariously through a sports team being unhealthy and how difficult it is to balance that, anyway excellent buffet for thought, thanks for sharing
Joseph S. // January 25, 2010 at 10:47 AM
If you ever think your team has it bad, just think about the Jets. You have no reason to feel bad.
Oh, and go Seahawks!
Jennifer S. // January 25, 2010 at 11:18 AM
I love the fact that it’s a picture of a Browns fan . . . we are all used to disappointing seasons. But, we will look forward to the next year. Thank you for the great insight.
Abe // January 25, 2010 at 12:19 PM
Look on the bright side…you could be a Browns fan. Your right though, there’s still hockey season – so long as your not a Wild fan
So…The Vikings Lost « The Observations and Musings of The Big Red Poet // January 25, 2010 at 12:37 PM
[...] For another opinion on why this loss isn’t the end of the world, check out this guy’s blog. [...]
Comedy Mike // January 25, 2010 at 1:33 PM
win or lose, sports brings people in a community together, maybe even more in loss.
Gloris // January 25, 2010 at 1:51 PM
If it makes you feel any better, I posted this on Facebook for my Viking-loving fans.
Gloris // January 25, 2010 at 1:51 PM
oops! *friends*
Jackie P // January 25, 2010 at 2:08 PM
As a Vikings fan, I appreciate this post.My roomate also stared at me as I cheered and cursed loudly. It was one hell of a game! Since I’ve been Vikes fan, 1998, this is the furthest I’ve seen them go, but dammit I want my team to get a super bowl ring!!
giveitasecondlook // January 25, 2010 at 2:20 PM
Nice post. As a fan of a mediocre sports franchise I completely identify with this and have had all of the same emotions as you. Thanks for sharing your point of view.
Rudy // January 25, 2010 at 3:09 PM
I agree with a lot of this, But as a packer fan, i must say that through acquiring Favre, all you were doing is assuring that you would lose closer to the super bowl than you ever had.
sitting pugs // January 25, 2010 at 4:21 PM
Whether or not a team loses or wins indeed means nothing in real life, unless one has put money down on the outcome.
Life in general tends to stuff one’s senses with the reality of defeat. What goes up will always come back down — the question is how far down.
Living vicariously through anything is only unhealthy when one’s own wishes contradict those of the medium. “But, I don’t want to be a ballerina or a concert pianist or a star litigator or prime minister.”
You can still invest emotionally and psychologically in the triumphs and disappointments of other people, you just have to remember where you end and others begin.
bocraw // January 25, 2010 at 4:55 PM
The comments about this post are funnier than the article itself! I give you all props for not being fair weather fans and sticking by your teams. But the woe-is-me pity party is crazy. What are you bitching about?
The BEARS FAN – Woe is me. We haven’t been good since ‘86. The bears just went the Superbowl in 2006! What are you complaining about?
The JETS FAN – Dude…you just went to the AFC Championship. The Joe Namath team is part of the most loved NFL lore of all time! You have nothing to complain about.
THE REDSKINS FAN — Multiple superbowl wins! Nothing to whine about.
The poor NFC North — You had two teams in the playoffs!
ETC. ETC. ETC.
I do sympathize with The Vikings fans because you lost a game you should have won. Today has to be painful. You have the right to whine so my above comments are not directed at you.
And kudos to you for understanding that your self-worth should not be tied to a football team. Here in Alabama that is a foreign concept to most of the population.
But as a Saints Fan, having lived through 43 years of ineptitude, topped off by a gin-soaked used car salesman owner, I have no sympathy for any of you. Well, maybe the Lions and the Browns. But for the rest of you…I am enjoying the taste of your tears for a change. Geaux Saints!
Teri Smieja // January 25, 2010 at 4:58 PM
Wow, very well said! My husband is a born & bred Vikings fan, he bleeds purple and gold. He was sad when they lost last night, but not too sad to remember what’s truly important in life. Thanks for a great post!
Jill McKellan // January 25, 2010 at 5:29 PM
That blog had it all. It’s tough to be a suffering fan. As a Packers fan, I’ve been there. Still can’t help but take a little bit of joy from your pain though. The points you made on the overall relevance of it all are right on. Sports is just a great release to get out that stress when there is no other place to put it. Perhaps the Vikings loss was just what you needed to face the day at your “unfulfilling job”. It sure helped me with mine.
Seriously though – this was a great article. I loved it and look forward to others.
jingle // January 25, 2010 at 7:48 PM
it is painful to see your beloved ones losing a game, but it is just a game, try to win next time…
thank you for sharing the feelings of complexity,
hope for better next time,
cheers,
lilymoore // January 25, 2010 at 9:16 PM
I watched the first full football game of my life last night (well, mostly listened to it as most of the state has been suffering from power outages all week). Well, I’ve never been a fan of football but my boss is so she invited me over to watch the game, chill with some friends and family. And after all of the crazy, from the two hours I spent wandering with the radio while everyone else clung to ever fuzzy, staticed word that came in, or the power coming on just in time to catch the last two minutes of the 4th quarter and overtime, or listening to my boss, her girlfriend, and their neice scream when the Vikes lost…it’s made me never want to watch another football game again.
Joseph S. // January 25, 2010 at 9:42 PM
@bocraw Six playoff appearances and three division championships before this year’s season. I guess they don’t really mean anything though, seeing as you have suffered through 43 years of ineptitude.
Every team has had their ups and downs.
pt4themind // January 26, 2010 at 1:22 AM
Ironically my friend and I were speaking about some of the same things you touched on here. Especially about the loyalty factor, and plus the fact that sports really doesn’t mean anything in the real world reinforced some arguments that were made. One of which was the question “how does anyone really chose a football team?” I mean aside from liking the colors, uniforms, family legacy cuz dad like em, or supporting the hometown team what else is there?… Stats?? The argument came up “why is bandwagon bad?” My answer was because of lack of loyalty.
But really, we bandwagon with everything else we do. For example, If one phone company sucks we just swith. However, I still stand by the loyalty factor in football. It just makes bragging so much better.
stock // January 26, 2010 at 3:13 AM
well it is good to have such an attitude in life but many times i am very depressed with some situations i am of 25 yrs of age still i am lacking mant things in my life..
Dantem // January 26, 2010 at 5:44 AM
i would like to add a number 4. in your art and i don’t mean to be mean
, but in the end sports are nothing but billion dollar business, just like fashion or showbiz, it has nothing to do with fans,it has to do with their money… so, it’s tough, but sports feed on fans’ money, passion and time, it could get as bad as drugs or drinking, only there is no rehab for the victims 
slamdunk // January 26, 2010 at 5:58 AM
Good post. As a Bucs fan, I know all about supportiing a loser.
Citizen Pete // January 26, 2010 at 8:27 AM
“Sports – yet another excuse to drink beer.”
Long Time No Write « I am Ebi. I blog. // January 26, 2010 at 9:20 AM
[...] today featured a blog post by Witulant entitled “How I Learned To Stop Worrying About The Vikings And Love The Losing”. As a long-time football fan, this post got me [...]